I mentioned yesterday that I’ve realized a lot about family dynamics. Long distance family, specifically.
When we come visit Caleb’s family in Pennsylvania, it takes us about a day to realize how much we miss out on because we live so far away.
It’s no one’s fault; we live far away from them because it’s where God called us for this time. And this just happens when you live lives separate. I can’t imagine being in a long distance marriage! The relationships that form between those that live nearer are so much tighter and more developed than between those who don’t.
And it’s not because we don’t talk or keep in touch; we talk several times a week and try to FaceTime when possible (which I’ll admit is much harder than phone calls). We just don’t get the live interaction. Leading up to the trip, we were so excited to see everyone, thinking it would be like how it was when we lived out here, but it’s not.
And I found myself getting hurt and jealous because things aren’t the same. I felt like my baby doesn’t have the same relationship with her grandparents that my nephew does, and I felt like my relationship with my mother-in-law isn’t as close as it use to be either. I am so extremely blessed with a mother-in-law who I can talk to about just about anything, and we talked about this and she put my feelings as ease. Things haven’t changed between us except for the fact that we don’t see each other every day. And Ava gets the same love that her cousins get, just they have more frequent interactions.
And apparently it goes the other way as well. I didn’t realize how hard it has been on my in-laws when they hear stories about my parents visiting Ava or keeping her overnight. The same for my parents when we go on and on about Caleb’s parents and family. And frankly, I know a lot of grandparents and great-grandparents who don’t get along with the other side. I don’t know why we get jealous so easily, and it really makes me wonder why we feel that insecure, especially when it comes to our own families. You’d think we would know we all love each other enough to not feel that way, but it still happens.
Isn’t it funny how much things change as you get older? As kids, we are so carefree. Our feelings don’t get hurt by assumptions, they get hurt when another kid says something mean. But now, our minds think too much and we let our imaginations and assumptions take over.
And maybe this is just me and all the rest of us over-thinkers, but I have a feeling this is more common than not. Is this true? Are these feelings solely in long-distance families, or do families face these jealous feelings regardless?