Conversations

“I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation.” -You’ve Got Mail

I love that movie. You’ve Got Mail is one of those movies that is extremely dated in its entirety, but it’ll never get old. It always makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and makes me long for a pen pal. And books. And New York City. Although I’ve never been, so it’s more like the idea of NYC.

It makes me wish I could have the lifestyle of a writer, who spends her days in a coffee shop, or snuggled in at home in humongous socks and a large mug of coffee. While the babies are sleeping, of course. Because I wouldn’t actually change anything about my life except the being at home with my kids more and writing parts.

Another reason I love that movie is the quote above. And the daisies. And the fact that Tom Hanks has the shiniest fingernails ever. And just everything.

I feel like I am too random to follow a schedule. I love order, but I get too caught up in trying to stick to it, that I usually blow it. I have this Bible devotional app that I try to use daily, and for a while there I would occasionally get behind and try to catch up before reading “today’s” reading, and I get overwhelmed and give up. The same goes for blogging. I set a schedule, I claim I am going to stick to it, and then I panic and quit. Or I get busy and feel guilty, and then I panic and quit.

So, I am going to just start my posts like you know what’s going on in my life, as if we’re in the middle of a conversation. No pressure, just life.

Unexcused Absences

It’s been awhile.

I tried coming up with another way of beginning this post, but it’s a bit difficult to pick up where you left off pretending you never left. It’s like a friendship that is only in need of catching up because one person has blatantly neglected the other.

There are many reasons why I haven’t been as public these days, several of which I’m just not ready to share, but one of them has to do with my work schedule changing, and another has to do with feeling some sort of disconnect and need to figure out who I am and who I want to be… at least in the blogosphere.

My initial reason for wanting to blog is that I wanted to be some sort of voice. Some sort of source that people would find useful, much like the blogs that I turn to for tips, ideas, or solidarity. It’s so nice knowing I’m not alone, but in a way, I am. In the blogging world. It takes a lot to become a voice. One that’s more than just talking to a void, but one with an audience. Still, I think that’s something I would like, but it shouldn’t be the reason I write. I can’t do it for other people. I will get burnt out (which I did), and I will run out of topics because it’s no longer what comes naturally to me.

Over the past few months, I’ve looked back on my blog from when I was pregnant with Ava, and also this blog, and it’s fun being able to see what we did at certain times, and what Ava was doing and how she was growing and changing. It was nice. And now, I find myself almost 7 months pregnant with our son, and I haven’t documented the pregnancy at all. How’s that for an announcement?

I miss writing, and I think I just need to get back to the basics. I don’t care who is reading it, or about the numbers of views, or if it’s deeply reaching anyone out there. Even though I still kinda hope it does. I just can’t focus on that.

14 months old!

If I told you I was on vacation for the past month, would you forgive me for not writing?

Well, regardless of whether or not I have your forgiveness, I wasn’t actually on vacation. I don’t actually have a good excuse for not writing. This month, I’ve been trying out a new work schedule, which leaves me with a shorter lunch hour, and that’s when I used to get some blogging in. And poor excuse #2 is that we’ve been blazing through the first two seasons of The Walking Dead. Let me tell you. It’s hard to do anything else when walkers are out there.

And now we’re stuck because we can’t find Season 3.

Anyway, I feel like I need to update my faithful readers on some of the topics I started but have left you hanging on:

Insanity: Yes, it really is insane. We lasted a little over two weeks (actually, Caleb lasted a little longer than I did). The program overall is really effective, but I particularly found difficultly giving 40 minutes of my day to working out, when I work full-time and prefer to spend my evenings with my family. I would fall into bed exhausted, and frankly, it’s not worth it. There is a new workout program by the creators of Insanity that’s only 25 minutes long, and I think that would be much easier to stick to, but the results wouldn’t be as fast. So really, I would love to do it again, but I’m not motivated enough at this time.

Ava’s weight: We saw the doctor at the beginning of August (yes, I know, such a bad blogger!) and she’s doing well! She gained a pound, which I honestly thought wouldn’t be enough to please this guy, but turns out that’s exactly the amount most babies gain between their 12-13th months! He said she should be good as long as she continues to gain consistently. Now we are trying to reintroduce healthier eating habits, but make sure she snacks and drinks a lot of milk as well. I don’t want her to have weight issues on the other end of the spectrum in 5 years because the doctor had me eating everything smothered with butter.

Those are the two biggest updates I have at the moment. My new goal for blogging, since I have been so focused on not blogging recently, is one post a week. If I can muster up more, I will. But by golly, I’m going to post at least once a week! And I better get grief if I don’t!

Now, onto some pictures of my beautiful 14 month old!

14 month Collage 2

 1. Ava not only still loves playing in her kitchen, but she’s more expressive than ever! She’s starting to talk more, and says “stir, stir” as she stirs, and makes noises like water is running when she washes her dishes.

2. Reading is one of her favorite things to do. She will drag a book across the room, or even from one room to another, hand it to me, and climb up on my lab. (In case you caught it, yes she’s still crawling. She has taken steps, but prefers to grab my hand and walk with me than do it by herself. That or she crawls, because it’s faster.)

3. Ava has not allowed anything to be on her face until last week. She finally will wear her sunglasses, but she holds her head very still, like she’s afraid they will fall off. It’s so cute.

4. Occasionally, we wear her out to the point that she falls asleep. I don’t remember exactly where we had come home from, but she fell asleep in her car seat and didn’t even wake up when we brought her home!

5. Daddy, Ava, and I went to visit my grandma last weekend, and she brought out all of the really old baby toys she has from (I think) when my mom was a little girl. I remember playing with them as a kid, and it’s awesome that Ava gets to play with them now.

That’s in for today! Hopefully I have redeemed myself at least a little bit. My plans for upcoming posts include my thoughts on the new car seat we got Ava. Let me tell you… she LOVES not being so crowded like she was in her infant seat!