Unexcused Absences

It’s been awhile.

I tried coming up with another way of beginning this post, but it’s a bit difficult to pick up where you left off pretending you never left. It’s like a friendship that is only in need of catching up because one person has blatantly neglected the other.

There are many reasons why I haven’t been as public these days, several of which I’m just not ready to share, but one of them has to do with my work schedule changing, and another has to do with feeling some sort of disconnect and need to figure out who I am and who I want to be… at least in the blogosphere.

My initial reason for wanting to blog is that I wanted to be some sort of voice. Some sort of source that people would find useful, much like the blogs that I turn to for tips, ideas, or solidarity. It’s so nice knowing I’m not alone, but in a way, I am. In the blogging world. It takes a lot to become a voice. One that’s more than just talking to a void, but one with an audience. Still, I think that’s something I would like, but it shouldn’t be the reason I write. I can’t do it for other people. I will get burnt out (which I did), and I will run out of topics because it’s no longer what comes naturally to me.

Over the past few months, I’ve looked back on my blog from when I was pregnant with Ava, and also this blog, and it’s fun being able to see what we did at certain times, and what Ava was doing and how she was growing and changing. It was nice. And now, I find myself almost 7 months pregnant with our son, and I haven’t documented the pregnancy at all. How’s that for an announcement?

I miss writing, and I think I just need to get back to the basics. I don’t care who is reading it, or about the numbers of views, or if it’s deeply reaching anyone out there. Even though I still kinda hope it does. I just can’t focus on that.

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